Until We Are Committed

On 03.18.10, In Advice, By Tommy

Until We Are CommittedCommitment is the indispensable iron quality of character that paves the way for every great accomplishment. Fortunately, commitment is not a trait we are born with. Rather it is a virtue that can and must be tuned into and then woven into our approach to life if we are to tap into the deep reservoir of potential we’ve been blessed with.

Commitment is the learned ability to persist even after enthusiasm diminishes. It’s the willingness to be flexible, to improvise, to adjust course, to do whatever it takes to deliver what was promised. We must have a large supply of commitment to excel as individuals, in our marriages, and in our family life, not to mention the commitment necessary for high achievement in business.

If the fire in our belly stayed as red hot after we established our HUGE goals as it did when we were contemplating them – commitment might be optional. If our passion and enthusiasm remained as high for our marriage after the wedding ceremony as it did on and before the big day, we wouldn’t need commitment. If raising happy, healthy, and self-confident children were as easy as it looked on a 1960’s sitcom then, just maybe, we could skip the commitment.

I think we need commitment!

It is precisely because our feelings fluctuate that commitment is critical! As human beings, our feelings are wired to our volatile short-term emotional appetite. This means that if we allow our feelings to drive our decisions, we will likely feel good in the short-run but under perform in the long run. We’ll be playing now but paying later, as opposed to delaying gratification and reaping a much higher return down the road.

Our likelihood of following through on important commitments is strongly influenced by our self-image. Our self-image is how we unconsciously see and think of ourselves right now. It’s based primarily on our interactions with others, particularly those closest to us. We tend to always act in a manner consistent with this self-image or current picture because that’s exactly what you we will feel like doing.

Our feelings support our current self-image and, as a result, bully us to maintain the status quo, to keep doing what we’ve been doing. Upgrading our self-image, and, by extension our life, requires growth. And useful growth inevitably involves resistance, struggle, and tension. Sometimes this is a solo experience and sometimes it involves other people in our life. To follow our feelings, instead of our goals, is to follow the path of least resistance and to miss out on the abundant life that is available to us. This is the road most traveled.

A worthy goal requires us to let go of the status quo. It requires that we break out of the comfort zone and shift into the achievement zone. We must first make the inner transition from feeler to doer. High achievers, we know, are motivated by pleasurable outcomes (their goals). On the other hand, underachievers are motivated by pleasurable methods (how it feels along the way). Either path is a learned approach to life.

Which path will you choose? Share your comments here.

If you’ve got 2 minutes to invest, it’s worth your time to take a peek at my other blog post where I explain The Six Commitment Cliffs which, if you are unaware of them, endanger your full potential. In order to make the transition from a feeler to a doer you must steer clear of these natural human tendencies.

Click here to see what I mean…

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America’s Character is America’s Backbone!

On 03.17.10, In Advice, By Tommy

AmericaThere’s a reason why immigrants have streamed into America for over two hundred years: it’s the greatest land of opportunity ever created. No matter where you come from, this is where you have a legitimate shot at designing your life and making your dreams come true. In America, your life can become an example for others to follow or a warning for others to heed. You can be born poor and earn a fortune, and you can be born rich and lose it all. Or you can create something for you and your family in the middle-it’s up to you. What a country! You don’t even have to be born here to think of yourself and be viewed by others as a true American. Unlike other countries where birth and ancestry determine citizenship, in America it’s about taking ownership of the American ideals, culture, and way of life.

I risk being labeled as arrogant, since American patriotism seems to have gone out of fashion in certain intellectual circles. But I’ll say it straight: America is the best of the best. The Judeo-Christian roots of America bleed through the founding documents and are unmistakably the greatest asset our country possesses. Our collective character still carries the legacy of the godly men who boldly initiated our unprecedented independence from the crown of England and established our republic. From the moral laws provided by the Ten Commandments to the inalienable rights bestowed upon all individuals, the founders rightly considered strong religious beliefs to be a precondition to rock-solid character. “In God we trust” is no mere political slogan but rather an unshakable conviction upon which both the moral fiber of an individual and a nation must rest.

Individually, good character exists within each one of us to the degree that habits of virtue dominate habits of vice. More than any other single factor, our character is responsible for our achievement or underachievement in life. As any good football coach reminds his players, “Character is what you’re made of.” In politics, in business, in marriage or in sports, “character,” as Heraclitus put it, “is destiny.” Likewise, the character of a nation is the sum total of the virtuous citizens. America’s character is America’s backbone.

America’s distinctive character flows both from the founding fathers and the Heavenly Father who inspired them. Because of the moral legacy of our forefathers and despite our imperfections, from its founding through this day, America has demonstrated exceptional moral strength. As with individuals, a country’s character is revealed when it is under fire. When an individual or a country is tested, you find out “what they’re really made of.” Time and time again, when America has been tested, the red, white and blue fibers of virtue have been crisply and proudly illuminated.

For example, Todd Beamer, Jeremy Glick, and the other heroes of United Flight 93 revealed their character and by extension, the character of this nation when they were drafted into battle and abruptly tested on the morning of September 11, 2001. They answered well the call they had not expected to receive. Aware of the fate of the other hijacked planes, these heroes launched a successful counterattack against the sub-human elements who had seized control of their flight and intended to use the jetliner to kill hundreds more of their fellow Americans. Had these Americans aboard Flight 93 lacked the courage of character to fight back, it is likely that either the White House or the Capitol would have been destroyed.

The bold sacrifice of the Flight 93 passengers is a great reminder of the role that individual citizens play in the defense of our freedoms. We have walked our talk better than any nation on the face of the earth. Beginning with the bravery of our founders and their fight for freedom, through two world wars, the Great Depression, space disasters, and the attacks of 9-11, we have bounced back from both adversity and mediocrity alike. And, I believe we have what it takes to make yet another comeback.

Do you? Comment here.

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The Six Commitment Cliffs

On 03.17.10, In Advice, By Tommy

In another article I talk about the difference between being a “feeler” and a “doer”… and why it matters. Below I explain The Six Commitment Cliffs which, if you are unaware of them, endanger your full potential. In order to make the transition from a feeler to a doer you must steer clear of these natural human tendencies.

Tiny Carrots
There’s nothing quite like small goals to bring out the mediocrity in us all. Setting a goal you already know or suspect you can achieve is the complacent, safe approach. It’s more of a formality than a goal. Since small goals result in small rewards, they usually generate low motivation. One of the simplest and smartest ways to increase your commitment level is to establish HUGE goals that demand great commitment. Set goals that force you either to commit or to concede!

Flippant Commitment
There are the commitments made in a rush, often to get something now, in return for following through with a promise later on. They’re missing real commitment and are mostly manipulative and selfish. “Honey, if you’ll let me buy that new sofa now, I’ll promise to spend hardly anything on the house next months.” You guessed it. When it becomes time for the Flippant Committer to keep their end of the bargain, they’ve either forgotten about it or simply don’t feel like it. Just a few Flippant Commitments is enough to knock the quality of a relationship down a notch or two.

The V.E.C. Virus
This stands for validators, enablers, and commiserators. These toxic microbes invade your various commitments and try to make you feel good about letting yourself and others down. They play to the worst side of your human nature and stimulate comforting pity parties. “Don’t worry about it Betsy. In this stage of life, it’s total survival mode. That’s how it was with me. He’ll get over it.” Those infected with the V.E.C. Virus are highly contagious and come in many forms. High standards and strong accountability are the antidotes to these nasty bugs!

The Wait and See Plea
This is conditional commitment characterized by the individual who wants to “keep his options open” afraid something better will come along. “You guys have been dating for 3 years. Why don’t you ask her to marry you? Well, I’m just not sure she’s the one.” You can’t steal second with your foot stuck on first base. Those who cop the Wait and See Plea miss the magic and reward that comes from authentic commitment. It’s true in your business and personal life as well. So burn the bridges behind you and block the exits! Give yourself no other alternative but to succeed! Like a prenuptial agreement, the Wait and See Plea becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stinky Commitment
This is insincere commitment or commitment with an asterisk. Stinky Committers make a commitment, don’t follow through, and then blame it all on some “unforeseen” circumstance that popped up. But you can smell this tactic from a distance because the excuses are so obviously weak or avoidable. “Sorry I missed our appointment, but the traffic was horrible.” Unfortunately, this becomes a way of life for this Stinker. Commitment is all about keeping your promise even when it’s hard to do so – when you’re tired – even when it’s inconvenient – even when it’s the last thing you want to do. If unforeseen circumstances didn’t pop up, almost everyone would be really committed. Commitment without aggressive pro-activity is dead. It’s phony! So expect the unexpected! Anticipate what might throw you off track. Avoid making commitments lightly and then breaking then, as this weakens your inner credibility and depresses your ability to stick to the big commitments in life.

Over Commitment
This common ailment is caused by an inflammation of the “Yes Gland.” People who over-commit often have wonderful intentions but end up frustrated with an overstuffed plate of self-inflicted good works, usually at the expense of their family, their health, and their peace of mind. “Randy, I’m putting together a steering committee for the new church development project and we’ll be working a few nights a week ….. I could really use your help?” Over Commitment can be stopped in its tracks by having clearly defined goals, written plans, and a 24-hour waiting period before accepting invitations for service. Your commitments must be in alignment with your goals!

When you avoid these Commitment Cliffs you are “Freed to Succeed” in every area of life. Nobody wants to work with, live with or associate with someone who cannot be counted on. Breaking commitments is a relational trap! One by one, through the invisible force of habit, broken commitments can accumulate and gradually weaken your relationships, not only with others, but with yourself as well. Remember, there’s no greater interpersonal withdrawal than breaking a commitment with someone you care about.

Once you become truly committed, you will trigger a chain reaction of serendipitous events that propel you toward your God-given potential. Remember, positive feelings follow positive action. You can override any negative self-defeating emotion by initiating positive motion. Most of the world will wait until they feel like it. You, on the other hand, have made a commitment.

Now go do it! Will you?

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